50 and Broke?

So, you’re 50 and broke huh? Are you finally ready to listen to your mother? It’s time to swallow your pride and do what I’ve been telling you for years. Your generation has done it all backwards. My generation worked hard, did without, saved our money and then when we could afford it we got the things that we wanted. You sniveling baby-boomers thought you could do it your way, after all you are the smartest and most coddled generation in history. Well, it finally caught up with you didn’t it? You thought you could go out and get whatever you wanted right off the bat and try to figure out how to pay for it later. It backfired. While we made compounding work for us, you have had it working against you from the day you left high school. And the credit card companies thank you as they laugh all the way to the bank. Well, they are the bank. So here are some thoughts in no particular order:

· Stick with your job; quit jumping from one to another. Get a second job evenings and weekends. Both of you. Put the kids to work. Put the dog to work
· Cut up the credit cards and pay cash for what you really need. Points are for suckers
· No more $4 cups of coffee, $100 sneakers or $3000 TV sets
· Cancel the newspaper and all magazine subscriptions
· Cancel the cable or satellite TV
· Cancel the satellite radio
· Don’t lease cars
· Quit buying new cars
· Quit buying new, big houses and financing them with ARM’s, Interest-Only Loans, and Minimum Payment/Negative Amortization Loans. Refinance now
· Snow skiing is too expensive
· You can’t afford to shop at Whole Foods
· Goodwill and The Salvation Army have great deals on almost-new designer clothing and home furnishings. Swallow your pride, put on some sunglasses and go shop
· No more movies, concerts or sporting events. No more $5 popcorn and $3 sodas
· Find your public library. It’s probably on the way to Barnes & Noble.
· If you have a home mortgage, car note or personal loan/credit card debt you have no business investing. Real investing is for people who fly private jets, drive Bentleys and carry more mad cash in their pockets than the net worth of the company you work for
· When you start having a little extra cash each month (what a concept, huh?) start putting a little into savings. The goal is 10% GROSS, remember?
· Start paying a little extra against the highest rate debt that you have. When that’s paid off just keep going down the list
· Don’t be proud, ask family if they can help (particularly the older ones, they have all the liquid cash)
· You do not have to hire the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus for you kids’ birthdays. Birthdays and Christmas are great times for new shoes
· Great people have graduated from in-state public universities
· Kids do not have to be in a dozen after-school activities
· Monopoly and chess are much better ways to learn life lessons and thinking skills than Grand Theft Auto. Smart kids get scholarships
· Get rid of the cell phones. They do make emergency-only phones for teens. Cell phones are for investors
· No more fast-food and restaurants. Restaurants are where investors have lunch. Learn to actually cook; it’s fun and nutritious. And cheaper (remember, no shopping at Whole Foods)
· Malls are for people-watching, not shopping
· Massage parlors are not places that nice people go to
· You can do your own nails
· Vacations are for people who can really afford them (Hint)
· Quit running to the doctor every time you sneeze. You’re not really sick and you are driving the doctor crazy. Besides, generic cold medicine at the grocery store is much cheaper (Not Whole Foods)
· The terms ‘all natural’ and ‘organic’ are not in your vocabulary
· The Lottery is not a retirement plan. Quit buying tickets

Now shut up and get to work!